And this is why im better off alone.

i need to stop watching love stories/movies because those loves are perfect, and perfect doesnt exist from the outside. i need to stop thinking of the perfect looking guy with the perfect height, the perfect eyes, hair, face, smile, body and personality because its not out there. the closest things we have to perfect is love… when your in love with someone everything they appear to be is perfect in your eyes. truth is no one is perfect they only become perfect in your eyes when you fall in love with them. i need to stop looking for the perfection through my mind of how he would look, act and be and start finding someone who will take care of me, treat me well, compatibility and look for the perfection through my heart. i need to get out of the mentally of a typical love story and get into the mentally of my own love story. 

i need a guy whose gonna stay by me even when i push him away like even before we date or anything, one that is willing to stay in my life in which ever way i put him as long as hes in it. this kind of guy isnt the type to quit when i tell him i need time or im not interested, he tries to stay in my life. im the kind of girl that needs to get comfortable with a guy and i need to see that he will stick around, and will give me time and doesnt leave when it gets tough or doesnt go his way. this kind of guy is my best friend, when im sad i can come to him, when im in good mood, hell make me smile/laugh bigger/harder. one that i can tell him what to do and he will do it (dont mean to sound controlling, im not). i need to feel comfortable with him and not mind being with him alone after a while and i will get so excited when im with him even though were not dating. i figured out that the kind of guy i end up falling in love with is one wont give up on me, when i might give up on him or push him away.