you may need 46 chromosomes to be created, 23 from each. you may have his eyes, or his temper. you may do things like he does. you may be creative like him. you may have his genes, and his blood but doesnt mean hes your dad. a dad is someone who holds your hand when your 1, takes you to dance when your 4, takes away your phone at 11, scares your boyfriend away at 16, helps you with college at 18, gives your hand to the new man at 25, and is still always there. sometimes you dont need to physically loose a parent to not have one. sometimes its just absence. sometimes its just not being there. yeah you can be there at my graduation, maybe a few birthdays, holidays. but where are you the other days? how about the days when i fail a test, when a boyfriend breaks my heart, when i had a bad day at work, or when i need you? and even though i will never let you or anyone see it, but my hearts screaming for you. theres other older men in my life telling my boyfriend “if you hurt her, ill kill you”, but my father never said that to him. does he not care? when somethings comes up in my life, i always have to work out a situation with my mom, my dads never involved because he usually just ends up not helping. im 18 now,i dont need you to fix my bike, or find my barbie, or read a book to me… i need money. i need money to make things happen in my life that i find fun or helpful. but as usual you say no. your never there. you dont even know me. i dont really have that many memories with you. no money. no memories. never there. no parent. simple as that. 

i feel like im missing a best friend at home in my life, a true best friend that i can be inseperateable with. im trying so hard to find one here at college, one that we can hang out, go out, text, call and everything but someone that i can trust and i get along with amazingly. someone who ill be best friends with all through college and then will be my maid-of-honor one day. i feel like every girl i talk to in classs i wonder if maybe she will be the one but always im let down. thats why when i hopefully join a sorority ill meet a best friend that me and her will be inseperateable. maybe ill find my big, little or sister that will be my other half (in a best friend way). my boyfriend is my best friend, i tell him alot but at the same time i need a girl best friend. and my real best friend is in maryland so its hard. ughh just help me find my best friend other half, that wont screw me over.